Words...

Word up, yo.

2008-04-07T23:51:14Z

Hey ElJay-O-Sphere.

I have returned from the dead.

I should probably delete this journal, since I don't use it, but isn't that the beauty of the interwebs?

Since you have last heard from her, Melissa is/has...

Living in the Mission
Writing fashion and music features for GrooveEffect
Writing on Vox
Transferring to the Academy of Art University
Quit her job at Buffalo Exchange
Drinking too much coffee
Tutoring weekly at 826
Still working on the Sandman series
Looking at icanhascheezburger and yeswecanhas more than I'd like to admit

So there.

I misses yous.

thanks, damien rice.

2007-07-21T21:48:26Z

leave me out with the waste, this is not what i do.
it's the wrong kind of place to be thinking of you.
it's the wrong time for somebody new.
it's a small crime, and i've got no excuse.

and is that all right, yeah?
if i give my gun away when it's loaded.
is that all right, yeah?
if you don't shoot it, how am i supposed to hold it?
is that all right, yeah?
if i give my gun away when it's loaded.
is that alright, yeah, with you?

coffee, pabst, cigarettes, and craigslist...

2007-07-11T10:06:59Z

...have kept me up half the night.

reading "missed connections" is totally my guilty pleasure.

i should have just third wheeled it and invited myself to the 2am showing of the new harry potter movie.

i'm surprised my [neighbor's] wireless hasn't crapped out on me yet.

i hate money.

madame bovary is depressing.

the end.

shloooooooop! (the sound of a sucessful sponge)

2007-06-30T09:18:51Z

wednesday: "the dreamers"
thursday: "happiness"
friday: "bande à part", "black snake moan", & "ratatouille"

future movie night plans...
1) audrey hepburn ("breakfast at tiffany's", "roman holiday", "sabrina", & "funny face")
2) the classics (ava gardner, grace kelly, bridget bardot, etc.)
3) la nouvelle vague (godard, truffaut, & melville)
3) the great sex-scene-a-thon ("say anything" & "cruel intentions")
4) buscemi-a-go-go ("ghost world", "13 moons", & "the big lebowski")

and-and-and... aronofsky, svankmajer, bertolucci, belmondo, anna karina, i just want to absorb everything!

and the movies lead to the music -- edith piaf, françoise hardy, serge gainsbourg...

and somehow, the movies and the music lead to the books. or maybe the books lead to the two of them. or maybe they're the trifecta of the arts, in which case i'm in the wrong arena -- opening an art gallery and all.

now i'm finally tackling flaubert's "madame bovary". i'm finding myself increasingly empathetic to the madame, and not a little bit annoyed with her at the same time. today: french realism and the july monarchy, tomorrow: "anna karenina"; then, who knows...maybe even some pushkin if i'm feeling adventurous.

if anyone reads "the yiddish policeman's union" or "what is the what?", let me know what you think. i haven't started either yet.

my goodness, i'm feeling culturally sponge-y. i'm absolutely in love with freedom of expression right now.

in other news, i'm a birthday forgetting idiot of a supposed friend. what with the gallery and the godard, i've completely lost track of the days, but it doesn't excuse my idiocy.

warner williams art opening at the canvas gallery

2007-02-15T03:10:12Z

come visit me at tomorrow's art opening!

new addition: pete doolittle and friends!

it had to happen eventually.

2007-01-24T09:00:50Z

so, i haven't been writing much here, and i've barely been keeping up with other people's posts, so it's entirely unfair of me to expect others to read this, but i'm feeling super-excited because i've found yet another facet of life that i am incredibly passionate about and want to share with the world.

i feel like i should explain my recent detachment from keeping up with the goings on of everyone else, though, because this really is the only way that i get to keep in touch with some of my favorite people, and i sometimes feel like i suck a little bit for that.

so, since i've been super-jazzed about last semester's finals, the following things have happened:

still dealing with lingering getting-hit-by-car issues. suckage ensues.

went to mexico for a show. hoping to get a contract for traveling shows every other weekend, although extensive travel time would seriously cut into eugene-seeing time, already in low supply and high demand. running an art gallery, as well. and taking fifteen units. at three campuses. without a scooter. and trying to move to the haight/ashbury area.

i really am more content when i'm busy, though, and more productive as a result of said contentedness, so hopefully i don't burn out before the semester's over. if i can keep this up, i should have my associate's by fall, and fuck sfsu and their over-enrolled apparel design program.

on the topic of school, i have an amazing schedule of classes, including human sexuality on tuesday nights, which prompted me to watch "kinsey" tonight, which has led to a whole dump truck of other thoughts.

i'm already falling in love with the study of human sexuality, which just makes it incomprehensible to me how people survived psychologically before kinsey's work really approached issues of human instinct without taboo and sin and guilt. it also makes me grateful that i've been able to grow up in such an open environment, but sad that there are so many people no doubt feeling negatively about themselves and their own bodies and instincts because of the limited knowledge, or lack there of, that is available to them.

which led me to talking to eugene about how revolutionary his findings were, similarly to the sexual revolution of the sixties and the technological revolution(s) of recent(ish) years, but what is our revolution going to be? because i don't honestly feel like a part of the technological, which was slightly older than me, but not quite as old as my mother's generation. and if we are experiencing one of some sort, would we realize it before it was too late? or would it cease to function properly as a revolution if we were too self-aware?

and also, how is it that other cultures are so ready and willing to expose themselves to us? like the foreign student from yemen in my business of modeling class, who is not a fashion major, but who is taking the class in an effort to better understand our culture, which is so image-conscious and "beauty" oriented, and even considered blasphemous and vulgar to the culture he was raised in. i think that what he is doing is at least as radical on the same level as kinsey's surveys of sexual histories in the early 1950's, yet very few americans (although not all, of course) seriously study abroad, let alone go so far out of their way to experience the standards of another culture with such immersion. as an american, it is possible to travel through almost any major global trade city without speaking another language, yet foreign tourists travel in un-paralleled droves to the united states, not expecting anyone to speak dutch, finnish, portuguese, welsh, etc. furthermore, what happens if we -- with our comparatively little knowledge of global languages and cultures, no longer have our high horse of economic power to bully other cultures into submitting to our deficiencies with? i just wish that people would take more opportunities to learn different languages and travel and experience different cultures so that we could represent ourselves better (because even in my limited experiences abroad, it really is embarrassing to be an american).

i don't know why -- i guess i was just having a lot of thoughts tonight and got tired of keeping them to myself in my little room. i think i'm done now.

i love your depression and i love your double chin.

2006-12-15T15:05:08Z

i think that it goes without saying that i'm only up right now because i haven't gone to sleep yet, and don't plan on doing so until at least after my textiles final this afternoon.

i think that it also goes without saying that i suck a little bit. the irony being that i mostly suck because i get so down on myself about sucking (hey, maybe i could use some form of the word suck again in this sentence for more complete vulgarity...). seriously, though, although i've been feeling like an absolute failure lately, in the everything-i-touch-turns-to-shit sense, one of my biggest failures has got to be the fact that i allow myself to dwell on my shortcomings (ha!) so easily. i wish i had enough time and energy to devote adequate attention to shit like this, but i really can't be bothered to venture further than the initial bitching stage right now. which is another reason that i suck a little bit.

despite the fact that i constantly bitch, i think i'm in a decent place. and i forgot how good prozac nation is.

it's definitely time for coffee. again.

we're dancing all around, let's give it to me, give it to me now.

2006-11-22T09:30:49Z

mates of state! freakin' awesome!

getting my id taken away at the great american: not awesome.

working every day this week and having tons of homework: also not awesome.

seeing my family on thursday: definitely awesome, but also hopefully tolerable.

so the apartment situation has turned to crap. i may stop by the warfield tomorrow night. hopefully i can be sociable and nice. i really do want to be, but it doesn't seem to be my nature.

i need to sleep. i think i'm addicted. it really is like a drug when there's so much crap to avoid.

word.

an epilogue of youth:

2006-11-20T11:37:52Z

drunk trip to twin peaks with bartenderboy is like the big mac value meal of emotional sustenance. how can something so heavily caloric be so nutritionally vapid? it only serves to temporarily assuage hunger and distract from the fact that there is brocoli and spinach to eat, plus, a steady diet of it will eventually cause a heart attack or some other disease of the heart.

the apartment situation is looking up. up from a sinkhole-turned-cesspool, but up, none the less.

my eating habits suck. alu naan is officially a food group. so are fruit gummy shapes. i'm especially fond of the following shapes: sneaker, noose, stegosaurus, foot, cockatiel. thank you, bargain bank bulk groceries.

i find it incredibly hard to sleep in a silent two bedroom apartment when my roommates are out of town and the dogs are boarded.

seymore and i had a little disagreement with some muni tracks earlier this evening. as a result, my elbow has paid the price to the tune of a three-inch stretch of skin. i got off incredibly lucky, as always.

what ever happened to asparagus?

and who else has the entire next week off?
(from school, at least)

i'm always tired, but have chronic trouble falling asleep.

2006-11-06T08:45:52Z

sometimes i'm an idiot.

sometimes (usually) other people are idiots.

sometimes i fall way behind on correspondences, laundry, projects, and just generally being a human being.
(this seems to coincide with periods of elevated alcohol consumption.)
(which seems to coincide with periods of elevated stress. and holidays.)

and sometimes all of the sometimes' occur simultaneously, resulting in a spectacular explosion only experienced in my head, which feels remarkably like an extended hangover of heinous proportions, with a sprinkling of guilt.

just because my roommates are much older and tend to be condescending in the advice-dispensation department doesn't mean they're not right, but their words have been getting me awfully down lately, whether or not that is their intention. and fuck hind-sight. and un-board-related games. and bad drivers. and fatalist attitudes and their contagious nature. and people who mock my vocabulary (playfully or otherwise).

i've been using a lot of big words lately. pretension may be a fact of other people's lives, but i haven't resigned myself to it yet.

my friends are amazing and i love them.

i painted a robot the other day. i like him. it's too bad everyone and their grandma have already latched on to the robot as a contemporary pop-culture icon (symbol? visual representation? art trend?).

it's not polite to question people's mental stability. also, i was surprised tonight at how acutely i react to war on television. i was positively repulsed by the sheer violence and lack of regard for human life to the point where i felt the need to leave the room.

somehow, i just went from listening to deathcab for cutie to marilyn manson, but i feel slightly better already.

this entry is fragmented, to say the least. my apologies.

ps. i am addicted to mighty leaf rainforest maté tea with soymilk. this is my homily to the masses of its amazing fantastic-ness. if it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one.

i have a midterm tomorrow.

i'm always tired, but have chronic trouble falling asleep.

2006-11-06T08:42:37Z

sometimes i'm an idiot.

sometimes (usually) other people are idiots.

sometimes i fall way behind on correspondances, laundry, projects, and just generally being a human being.
(this seems to coincide with periods of elevated alcohol consumption.)
(which seems to coincide with periods of elevated stress. and holidays.)

and sometimes all of the sometimes' occur simultaneously, resulting in a spectacular explosion only experienced in my head, which feels remarkably like an extended hangover of heinous proportions, with a sprinkling of guilt.

just because my roommates are much older and tend to be condescending in the advice-dispensation department doesn't mean they're not right, but their words have been getting me awfully down lately, whether or not that is their intention. and fuck hind-sight. and un-board-related games. and bad drivers. and fatalist attitudes and their contageous nature. and people who mock my vocabulary (playfully or otherwise).

i've been using a lot of big words lately. pretention may be a fact of other people's lives, but i haven't resigned myself to it yet.

my friends are amazing and i love them.

i painted a robot the other day. i like him. it's too bad everyone and their grandma have already latched on to the robot as a contemporary pop-culture icon (symbol? visual representation? art trend?).

it's not polite to question people's mental stability. also, i was surprised tonight at how acutely i react to war on television. i was positively repulsed by the sheer violence and lack of regard for human life to the point where i felt the need to leave the room.

somehow, i just went from listening to deathcab for cutie to marilyn manson, but i feel slightly better already.

this entry is fragmented, to say the least. my apologies.

ps. i am addicted to mighty leaf rainforest maté tea with soymilk. this is my homily to the masses of its amazing fantastic-ness. if it was physically possible to make love to a hot beverage, this would be the one.

i have a midterm tomorrow.

i'm addicted to tuna salad.

2006-10-23T01:38:52Z

fer surrious: http://www.consumating.com/meetings?id=21 (what's that? where's waldo is the shit? damn straight.)

i filled out the survey from jordan's myspace and then decided not to post it.

i'm becomming a very responsible drunk these days. apparentlty, i set my alarm, plugged my phone into its charger, and put my fuckoff ring in the box on top of my steamer trunk before passing the fuck out last night. unfortunately, when woken by the alarm this morning, my first thoughts were still: who the fuck set my alarm? what day is it? and what the hell did i do with my ring last night at the bar?

i think i'm going to go write and draw and make a mix cd for work.

because the spark is not within me/because your hands are not upon me.

2006-09-26T03:11:45Z

so, it's been awhile since i listened to the arcade fire. they're pretty darn decent.

item #1: i'm starting to dislike my job more and more. they make such a point of my age. to their defense, i have been drinking illegally there recently. to mine, a) i've been doing it since before i started working there, b) thats how i got my job, c) the drinks i've had there that i've gotten in trouble for have both been totally unsolicited for on my part.

item #2: i've realized that i can't even enjoy harmless crushes anymore. i set my subconscious to disillusioning myself before anything can come of it (positive, negative, or bodily fluid).

item #3: i need a shower.

item #4: item #4 knows what it is and what it needs to do. come on, item #4! be a man. you can do it. i still believe in you (i think).

goodnight.

HEY.

2006-09-19T07:40:26Z

the other morning (sunday, to be exact) aurora very aptly described a hangover as "when your head feels like a sore balloon." (especially apt for someone hungover at the time the statement was made.) as rachael and i discussed this afternoon over coffee and procrastination, we are currently hungover on life; and in addition to the constant sore-balloon-head feeling (and the proverbial taste of whiskey and hooker spit in our mouths), i've been feeling especially mortal lately. it's likely a result of riding my scooter more often (somes nex) and not recently having time to paint or design or read or create much (mens nex and animus nex). also, i believe i'm still suffering from what john-the-irish refers to as "european hangover" (le même sentiment endolori de ballon, mais avec un sourire de la joconde et une bouteille de vin).

the irony is that while life without consistency breeds emotional hangovers, the alternative seems to breed ennui and restlessness, so until i further hone the ability to strike a proper balance, i'm going to work on simplifying my life. no livejournal, no myspace, no extraneous email. maybe i'll actually start writing for myself again. maybe i'll start writing to more actual people. email me your address if you want snail mail and badassmotherfucking mix cds. bonus points if my acquaintance with you is mild at best -- more surprise all around. i'm also going to work on my people skills. i am surprisingly aware of their deficiencies, and have been for some time. i'm still on the fence in regards to whether or not i really want to be a nice, less-overbearing person, or if it's even entirely possible, but it's a matter deserving more attention. coping skills, too. and habits and whatnot, although i'm not honestly motivated in their direction.

i'm not entirely where this all came from. i was just noodling around livejournal while waiting for my nails to dry, but there we go, i guess.

ceci n'est pas une entrée.

2006-09-15T07:52:33Z

day off = schoolwork + errands + obligatory coffee meeting + more schoolwork - relaxation + stressors = scattered brain = erratic livejournaling.

see, that's a method of economics! economics relies heavily on logical and mathematical equations...melissa's day is an example of a microeconomic trade-off: by using her time to get shit done, her time was unavailable for the purposes of relaxation. if she had more time, she could relax, but she could also get more shit done. her choice represents a limited supply of human capital, in this case, diverting it from the preservation of her sanity.

i also find it especially amusing that we're discussing stress patterns and sleep deprivation in my psychoogy class (hans seyle eat your heart out).

other than schoolwork, though, i got a good amount of shit done today. i took care of my printing needs at kinko's, sent monumental letters to carissa and john, went downtown to gina khan salon to pick up the library book i left there during the runway show, talked to my mother on the telephone, and rode my "mo-mo cy-cy" (as my co-worker andy likes to refer to seymore) around alllll day. we're definitely getting along better now. no more tumbles, but my finger is healing slightly crooked. unfortunately, i did not get around to showering today, which probably should have been higher on my priority list, but now i'm tired and lazy. fortunately, no one is close enough to me to have to put up with my smelling slightly less wonderful than usual tonight. unfortunately, that just reminds me that i'm kindof lonely.

tomorrow is friday, though, which means school and hopefully hanging out with rachael and hannah; to be followed by saturday, which means work + party at work folowed by aurora and sarah's house warming party, gifts for which i haven't finished, although i have some good ideas.

does anyone know if acrylic paint will stick to records as a portrait medium on any sort of long-term basis?

it is sooooo past my bedtime, but i've still got an organizational note-taking high (uhmmmm, all the cool kids were doing it).

nice, itty-bitty, easily-digestable update:

2006-09-06T07:09:15Z

school -- it's educational, it's expensive, so everything must be fine on that front

work -- it's rather enjoyable, free food, it pays shit. everything seems ship-shape there, too.

"boys on the horizon" (as my mother likes to refer to them) -- none. i am a failed heterosexual. and still tighter than a nun's knees -- go chastity! can you feel the sarcasm?

social outings -- schoolschoolschool + workworkwork + watching house/the flavor of love + hanging out with wifey + runway castings = very little social time... except...

FEIST. this friday. the fillmore. be there, or be quadrilateral.
also, call me if you're going to be there, or suffer a second bout of square-dom.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
mainly a shout out to mwong (who totally introduced me to her), claire (who i'm assuming probably likes her, or would if she hasn't heard her), and fellow feist affecianados. it's only $20-ish, so hop on your bicycle/moped/scooter/indie-kid-transportation-of-choice, and get your ass down here this friday at 8.

my body is a never-ending fountain of mucus!

2006-09-04T06:41:01Z

kindof like that chocolate mote from willy wonka, only grosser, and sans little german boy drowning in it. my throat doesn't hurt so much anymore, but holy nasal congestion, batman! -- damn my shitty immune system.

so, i got to see my mommy and sisters and eben this morning, and we went to mel's diner, and they bought me french toast and dropped off lots of books and coffee, and it was actually pretty pleasant -- just long enough to satiate my familial desires for awhile, but not long enough for me to get into any arguments, except for a slight debate about structuralist psychology and pavlov's role in the behavioralist movement.

then i spent the rest of the day with wifey and her family, since i am practically one of them, having barbeque and watching crappy television. mama drove me home because she is fantastic, and despite the three day weekend, i'm really going to stay in and take it easy.

tonight i'm just going to finish my ironing and try to clean house a bit. tomorrow, however, is going to be a hermiting extravaganza of sewing, "the flavor of love", leg-waxing, nail-polishing, fashion-sketching, closet-organizing, sappy-love-song-playing, and assorted hyphenated verbs, possibly including pajama-dancing (entirely contingent upon my state of health). i'm also considering a moratorium on internet usage and outings (except for the purposes of stocking up on hermiting goods), and possibly telephone usage (i certainly won't be making calls, it's simply a matter of answering).

my nose feels like it's going to fall off -- extra soft kleenex, my ass.

beep-beep! hooray!

2006-08-29T01:48:42Z

three hours of life lost at the department of sanity-raping-bureaucrats/motor vehicles = scooter permit for melissa!

beep. beep-beep!

i didn't get into the flat pattern-making class that i wanted, though.

hopefully i'll get econ, psych, textiles, and english.

or else.

time to go hang out with spaniards, now.

we'll find a cathedral city...

2006-08-28T07:45:04Z

1) i love this song.
2) the song from the 4400 is really catchy (ps. the season finale = totally jumpy sharky).
3) i have such a thing for scruffy, old, brilliant assholes. aka. i am in creepy old-man-lust with the fictional doctor house.
4) school starts tomorrow.
5) hangovers suck balls.
6) especially when you've forgotten to take your makeup off or change into pajamas.
7) my stepmother called to tell me that she and my father are moving to colorado.
7a) how long can i put off calling her back without slighting her?
7b) why didn't my father just call me himself?
8) the comedic value of midgets is absolutely underrated.
9) didn't there used to be an asian fanta girl? in the commercials now, it looks like they swapped one out. anyone else notice this total travesty?
10) i need more guitar lessons, but i'm beginning to doubt that my schedule will permit it.
11) to everyone that's moving/just moved, i hope everything is going well. sometimes a change in physical surroundings really serves as a catalyst for realizing all of the other little changes that have occurred.
12) i'm too lazy to edit or spell check tonight.
11) and did i mention that school starts tomorrow? because it's now officially today.

i sleep now.

stress should be measured in units of me.

2006-08-25T06:24:01Z

SERIOUSLY!

where's neil when you need him?

2006-08-25T01:30:58Z

i'm tired. bondage-a-go-go with aurora and sarah. i danced a lot last night/this morning. working at a café is handy when you show up with a hangover and the coffee's free. i have a runway show this weekend. school starts on monday. the art at my work is expensive, even though i get half off. i should sell some because i make comission. my boss is the nicest businessman i've ever met. my throat hurts. my mother is an intolerable woman to have a telephone conversation with, and it makes me wonder if i take after her. it is my sister's fifteenth birthday. i'm going to go work on pretty things for her. and sleep.

zozoville.com
mateo-art.com
johanpotma.com

look at the art. it makes me feel warm and fuzzy.
there's actually an opening for the installment tonight at canvas. i'm too tired.
thecanvasgallery.com

fin.

"it's easy to find someone to make you feel loved at night...

2006-08-21T09:06:14Z

i definitely stole that from claire's last post, however, it's incredibly fucking true.

so, i love that aurora and sarah live in the castro, but i most certainly do not love waiting fourty minutes for the 24divisadero owl bus while some crazy dude keeps bugging everyone for a cigarette, including getting all up in my fucking face and calling me a bitch, while some other crazy guy plays along with all of his shennanigans (sp?) and asks him repeatedly if he is henry matise, calling after cab drivers, "how much to philladelphia?"

i do love cocktails with the girls, walking down to the mission, talking to rachael late at night and her making me let her know when i get home safely, donny miller books (donnymiller.com), aurora's love, approval, and validation of my sketches, 24hour walgreens', and when my roommates leave the front light on for me.

i do not love myspace, people who can't stop calling me, that sort of behavior in myself, drinking too much (coffee or alcohol) to draw straight, sore throats, when the bus comes right after you've lit your cigarette, sobering up at the bus stop, and being ignored.

i start work tomorrow and i am excited.

that is all.

here comes the sun

2006-08-20T06:25:52Z

waaaaay to much to drink last night. amusing things went down in the crazy house. the roommate dynamic was deemed "interesting", and i definitely didn't get enough sleep.

in other news, i start working on monday, and i start school the monday after that, so anyone who wants to see me before my life becomes work and school obsessed should visit soon. (aaron, will you be visiting the city one last time before you move?) (claire and mwong, we should plan on a good show in the city.)

i also had a lovely guitar lesson today. i'm even getting callouses on my fingers.

wifey just called. aparently we're going to a birthday party. i need to get caffinated in a hurry.

my neck cracks a lot and it makes me dizzy.

2006-08-19T07:03:31Z

so that last entry was pretty sappy and lovey-dovey and way out of my element.

today i went places and did things and mailed stuff and talked to people. i walked a lot. i assure you, it was quite thrilling. especially after how i spent yesterday (noodling around the house for six waking hours before taking a "nap" of monumental proportions, ignoring all phone calls, and suddenly it was today!)

tomorrow i am going to see a man about a job, and then call another man about some other jobs. and go to the library. and hang out with wifey. and i fucked up both of my castings on wednesday (who knew that it was possible to suck at walking?). and who really cares?

however, there are a few things that i am currently excited about, and feel the need to share:
1) my latest artistic endeavor = making a book for my sister's birthday, full of hopefully interactive and highly personalized shit, along with an acompanying soundtrack.
2) making some wall decorations for aurora and sarah's new place in the castro (and a rainbow+heart+pirate flag for the window?)
3) finally taking the scooter permit test because i finally have a fully functional scooter.
4) beginning my career as a party promoter/coffee bitch at canvas (thecanvasgallery.com).
5) starting school on the 28th.
6) sewing sewing sewingsewingsewing!!!1!!11!!!1!oneoneone!

i really wish that wifey and i had our shit together enough to get a place ahead of schedule.
maybe by winter break? still, highly doubtful.

i kindof broke my make-up boycott today. i suck like that.

you know, it's time that we grow old and do some shit.

2006-08-16T08:22:55Z

"you're an amazing woman, you know."

that (^^^) absolutely made my day. no -- week. at least. to have friends who know how to convey that warm-fuzziness without making me feel objectified in that way that i have developed such an irrational fear towards, and yet flock to so blind, deaf, and dumb-ly.

the irony is that the man who spoke those words not ten minutes ago doesn't always see the same potential in himself.

this post is for alex, in all of his quiet glory, for putting up with me and knowing what to say and how to joke and laugh at serious matters so as not to let them consume the will to live. may he realize that about himself and revel in it.

and also for my wifey, without whom i would just be a lunatic laughing my ass off by myself. and also, for keeping me sane and kicking my ass.

and for william, my stylish partner in sin. and for vlad, for putting in way more energy than he will ever get back from my cynical, cranky bitch-ass.

none of them read this, but all of them deserve kind words, which i rarely give.

and for everyone who has ever put up with anyone out of love, and while i'm at it, let's hear it for dolphins and ponies and cute fuzzy shit like that (i realize the un-fuzziness of dolphins).

and for aaron, because it's his birthday, and i hope a very happy one at that.

life is good. it's also bad, but so what?

aurora and i are starting a comic. can you feel the genius? it's there, it's just a little shy.